When you’re dating someone new, you’re likely either going to delete your PlentyOfFish account and focus on him, or you’re going to keep dating other people and keep your options open. Usually when you decide on the latter, it’s because your gut is telling you he’s not the right guy. Here are 10 signs you’re dating the wrong guy:
1. He gives you anxiety
If he is giving you anxiety, either by falling off the map and not texting you for 5 days or taking forever to ask you out on a third date, chances are he’s not the right guy for you.
The right guy will not leave you feeling uncertain, anxious or wondering right out the gate. He will do things to make you feel secure and excited about the future. He will have follow-through.
2. He is unreliable
Your time is precious. If he is flakey or unreliable when it comes to plans, he is Mr. Wrong. Don’t date someone who wastes your time when you could easily meet someone who you can count on.
3. He doesn’t respect your boundaries
If he asks you to do something and you say no, the right man will respect your decision. The wrong man will be pushy and will not take no for an answer. He will keep asking in different ways hoping to get a “yes” out of you instead of respecting your boundaries.
4. He keeps you separate from his social circles
If he only ever wants to spend time with you one-on-one, he may be the wrong guy. The right guy will want to show you off to his friends, introduce you to his social circle and have you be a part of his group.
5. He doesn’t laugh at your jokes
If he doesn’t seem to “get” you or laugh at your jokes, he likely doesn’t have an awesome sense of humor like you do, or his sense of humor does not align with yours.
It’s important in relationships to make each other laugh and have fun. If you’re not laughing at his jokes or he’s not laughing at yours, you may want to keep your options open for now.
6. He doesn’t make time for you
No matter how busy someone is, it’s not that difficult to spare an hour for a coffee. If he’s not making an effort to spend time with you, it’s likely that his focus is not on you – which means your focus should not be on him.
When a man is really into you, he fits you into his busy schedule. If he is not doing so very often, it probably means that he is dating other people and is not super interested in you. In other words, he is the wrong guy for you.
7. He doesn’t put in effort
The right guy will want to put effort in with you to ensure that he stands out among your potential other suitors.
If he is planning cute dates or remembering that work problem you told him about and asking how you’re doing, he is putting effort in. If instead he is texting you from his couch “babe, come see me” and never much beyond that, he is Mr. Wrong and you should keep looking.
8. You don’t feel that you are good enough for him
If he doesn’t realize how lucky he is to be with you, he is not the right guy for you. He should not act like you are lucky to be with him.
The right guy sees all the little things about you that make you so special, and he’s stoked that he gets to be the one who dates you. He does not think he’s too good for you.
If you find yourself re-applying your makeup during your dates because you feel self-conscious around him, he is Mr. Wrong. You should feel good about yourself in a relationship and not feel insecure.
9. He gets mad about everything
If he doesn’t know how to pick his battles and instead gets mad about everything, that may be a sign that he will continue to take advantage of any and every opportunity he has to give you sh*t just because.
The right man will not sweat the small stuff, and knows how to let things go.
10. He is hot and cold
If one day he’s sweet and affectionate and the next day he’s cold and distant, he’s not worth your time. The right guy won’t keep you guessing, and chances are if he’s cold and distant something else might be going on with him. The best thing to do is let this guy be single so that he can figure his stuff out, and so that you can meet someone who is in a better place.
7 comments
Awesome post.
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WHERE ARE THE GOOD MEN? ARE THERE ANY OUT THERE?
I’ve only been on here since October. I think I’ve managed to pick all the wrong men! I’ve run into some men that get mad if your not available to talk 7/24…… They accuse me of being out with other men when I’m not available for them. I’ve been pawed and rubbed on the first date by a few…. I made the mistake of giving this guy my cell number….. And yes I was sent nasty pictures of his privates! The guy I met last night at a karaoke bar sat with his back to me, (I swear) probably didn’t say 10 words the whole night. And was on cell texting all night to a girl. He claimed it was his 19 year old daughter! There’s no way any 19 year old girl, on a Friday night, text her daddy for 3 hours straight.
I’m so frustrated! They say they like to dance, but won’t. I love pool and say they do to, but they won’t! I am who I am and there’s no lies or secrets.
WHAT AM I DOING WRONG? DO I NEED TO GO TO OTHER SITES?
Great post and very helpful! I was seeing someone who fit many of the “Mr. Wrong” descriptions that I met here through POF. Long story short, he was not divorced, but very much married, with a prison record to boot! He’s back on POF trolling for his next victim. I was naïve at first (was getting back into the dating scene after a long marriage) but finally figured it out. Thanks for posting these Erica.