Online or offline, traditional courtship in which the man pursues the woman is still the norm for today’s blossoming relationships. In the real world, it’s pretty easy to gauge whether he’s into you or not. Does he call you? Does he ask you out? Does he tell you how he feels about you? But when you’re dealing with online courtships, are the rules the same? If they are, how can a woman be proactive with a guy she’s into without making the first move?
Scenario: You and your PlentyOfFish crush #26 have chatted back and forth several times. You like his look, his ambition and his corny jokes. But after numerous messages, he has yet to ask you out on an official date. And after pondering back and forth for several minutes, it just goes against your traditional values to do the asking. How do you get him to ask you out? How do you leave subtle clues in your messages that if he did ask you out, you would reply with an enthusiastic ‘YES’?
The Weekend Mention
The first way to get a guy to start thinking of the possibility of asking you out is by mentioning your plans for the weekend or asking him about his. For starters, mention something social you’re doing with friends or an event in the city you’re attending. This will tell him you in fact have friends, you’re social and you may even have a few interests in common…even if they are beer and wine. Chatting about your social plans will entice him to ponder his own…and the possibility of including you in them.
The tease is slightly more obvious and is intended to leave a few things a mystery, until you meet in person that is.
Him: I see you spent 3 months travelling through India. Crazy! What was it like?
You: Too much to say in a message. Maybe I’ll tell you about my trip in person sometime:)
You: Should we happen to go for coffee sometime, I’ll tell you all about it.
The hope is that mentioning a meeting in person will either clue him in that it’s time to take things offline or he’ll be curious to actually hear your answer to his question. Essential components of the tease include the word ‘sometime’ and a smiley face.
After mentions of weekends and gentle teases, if he still hasn’t clued in, your last attempt is to make a statement about grabbing a drink/coffee, rather than actually asking him. For example, rather than writing “Want to grab a glass of wine this week?” say “I’m always up for grabbing a glass of wine if you’re ever in the area”. This puts the ball in his court to then ask you out on an official date. If he doesn’t take the opportunity to make solid plans, he may not be interested. Don’t waste your precious time. Next!