With both personal and professional involvement in online dating, I have come to realize that while it can be highly rewarding, it can also be highly frustrating. The most common feedback from successful PlentyOfFish couples (as well as my own observations) is that when it comes to online dating, you get what you give.
That said, there’s a shortcut to navigating the time wasters from those who are actually worth your valuable time and effort. It all comes down to some very simple, very common traits that we see online everyday! To save yourself from endless profiles to pick through each day, here are the top 5 online daters you should avoid:
1) The Negative Nancy
Modus operandi: The person who has all the negative things to say in their profile. They have a laundry list of things wrong with online dating or the idea of how online dating should work. They have a wishlist of their perfect match and will always list it in point form on their profile. They will always state in their profiles “I’m not here for hook ups”, “Don’t message me if”… No matter all your redeeming qualities if you’re a tad on the flirty side and you’re not out to get married tomorrow, don’t have a beard, tattoos and a motorcycle you’re OUT. No if’s, ands or buts.
Why you should avoid them: They will bring you down. Online dating is hard enough as it is without having a pessimist in your midst. Trying to live up to their 500 deal breakers / makers listed in their profile is frustrating at best. While I strongly agree that intentions should be clear, a profile is supposed to put your best (positive) foot forward. Decision making to carry on a conversation or to perhaps meet should come at a later time.
2) Spammy Steven
Modus operandi: The person you know has sent you the same thing he’s sent to about 500 other people..and you know it. The classic spammy message that is obviously just bait.
Why you should avoid them: I always say “Quality over quantity”. A spammy steven has definitely not read your profile and is just pulling generics out of the air. This is not only annoying, it’s discouraging as well. Throwing out lines in hopes to catch something is like picking low hanging fruit and it shows they aren’t necessarily trying to put in any effort. What does that say if you’re trying to find prince charming? Creativity in a first message is the make or break, your first impression! Make it count.
3) Persistent Pablo
Modus operandi: Messages you over and over and over again, most of the time it’s with the same line they used 2 weeks ago (do they not realize you can see the conversation thread?). You’ve ignored them or declined their invitation to chat once and here they are again. Often linked with a spammy steven, they have definitely not read your profile.
Why you should avoid them: Hello, future restraining order. If you have politely declined them, then that should be enough.
4) Boring Beth
Modus operandi: The person who has nothing interesting to say but keeps responding to your messages with one or two words max. Riveting stuff.
Why you should avoid them: You can’t be the only person initiating conversation, if they have nothing to bring to the table, they can eat alone. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they are boring but it definitely doesn’t make them interesting, either. If they aren’t asking about your interests or have nothing to contribute to the conversation other than your regular “YES, NO” they probably aren’t that interested and you should probably move onto the next.
5) Phone Number Phil
Modus operandi: The person who gives you theirs or asks for your phone number on the first message without really conversing with you first. “I’m not on here much, call me at….”
Why you should avoid them: They are probably nuts or have a serious inappropriate picture collection / porn site subscription they wish to share with you. People often forget about the safety tips that should go along when online dating including not sending out your phone number to EVERY person you think is attractive. Consider using alternative options like a voice chat feature if you’re really interested in hearing their voice.
BEWARE OF THE TRAVELERS! I’ve had three so far. They set up a date and then have a very long business meeting. Next thing you know, yep, they have to travel on business- and why is it always 3 weeks? This is after a week or so with the sweetie, honey, & babe romantic talk… yadda, yadda, yadda… Then… sorry baby, but I need to go handle the biggest deal of my life in India or wherever. Down the road, they “lose” their credit card or some such thing and they’re asking you for $. Don’t fall for it. GET OUT QUICK.
By the way, two of the three were widowers with daughters… just saying.
Good luck with your search, but be wise!
Yes is true, couldn’t agree more