Singles tell me all the time that online dating “feels like a full-time job.” And I know what they mean–there’s a lot of effort that goes into searching, messaging, planning, and ultimately, dating. Maybe you started online dating because it seemed like an efficient solution to singledom, but now it’s become very inefficient instead. What’s an eDater to do?
It’s been said that the more time you invest in something, the more you’ll get out of it, but with online dating, consistency trumps time. After working with thousands of singles as the founder of eFlirt, I can tell you that it is more powerful to spend 10 minutes per day logged in than inconsistently finding an hour on a random day every once in a while. When you make online dating a habit, it moves your love life forward smoothly with less dramatic ups and downs.
Stick to these micro-movements in your digital dating life to make it a daily habit!
1. Make it a habit:
When you log-in daily, the dating site considers you “active.” On some sites, that means prioritizing you in search results so you’re seen by more matches. It’s also a signal to others that you’re approachable and responsive. When your profile mentions you’ve been “online within 24 hours,” a match may reason that it’s more likely you’ll respond. It could mean the difference between getting a message from a match…or an empty inbox. So even if you don’t have time to do anything else on this list, consider this a hack for getting a little boost in your inbox.
2. Take your pick:
It’s easy to get stuck replying to what’s in your inbox, combing through those people who want to meet you. This is especially true for those who get a decent amount of messages, but you should not be defined by your inbox! Who do YOU want to meet? Do a search of your own and find the people you’d prefer to meet so who you’re dating becomes a bit more specific. Send a message to at least one new person who didn’t write to you first per day. When you’re limited in time, it’s best to do an advanced search, so you can get specific with who pops across your screen. If you’re struggling with what to say, download the free chapter of my book on messaging, which will teach you how to craft emails that get replies.
3. Clear the clutter:
I notice that singles who are in a rush read new messages in their inbox but don’t delete anything — including that guy who sent you a “hey baby” or that gal who is wearing a wedding dress in her main photo. Leaving the negative energy of bad matches lingering means you see it every time you log in. Who needs that? More importantly, keeping a clean inbox forces you to make decisions in your love life, a skill that will come in handy when you’re not sure what to do about that so-so date you just went on. Before you log out, make conscious decisions to either continue each conversation…or delete it.
If you find yourself with a bit more time on your hands, 30 minutes per day is ideal so you can get more accomplished. You can always call in help from my team of experts too if you feel like 10 minutes per day isn’t getting you enough dates. Remember that actions – no matter how small – are what will help you meet someone amazing!