Most of us know what it feels like to be rejected or broken up with, so it’s no wonder that we can be hesitant about inflicting that same emotion on someone else. However, staying in a relationship either out of guilt or fear is no way to live. Like anything in life, the best decisions we can make come from emotional intelligence and rational . When we allow anxiety to control our actions and relationships we invite an endless cycle of negativity into our life.
Love is a journey and finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with is a process. We often think we should stay with someone just because we have already spent so much time with them. We use our emotional investment and history with them as justification for putting up with being unhappy. We get comfortable.
But here’s the thing, you shouldn’t have to settle for someone just to keep them happy or to have an average relationship. So here are a few tips to getting you confident and brave enough to break it off:
Look at the bigger picture
Most of our anxiety starts when we overthink all the details instead of just seeing the bigger picture. When should I break up with them? What will they say? How will they react? How should I say it? and so on. Yes, people will get hurt along the way and it’s not going to be an easy process, but everyone has the ability to move on. You can’t get stuck in the moment and make up a list of empty excuses as to why you shouldn’t let go. Whether you are feeling guilty for hurting that person or are scared about what the future holds, you have to try and put everything into perspective and see beyond the initial break up.
Know your worth
If you are in a toxic relationship and feel utterly exhausted from the daily fight with your partner, then it’s even more of a reason why you need to call it quits. Don’t forget about what you want as well, and if you are not fulfilled or happy and your relationship is tumultuous, then it’s time to break free. Focus on building up your self-love and confidence so you can have the strength to say goodbye.
Take it a day at a time, but have a plan
The best way to tackle a fear is to have a plan of action. This means creating a practical solution for a problem. If you are struggling or fearful about ending your relationship then chances are you won’t just randomly wake up one day and do it. Keep a time frame in mind of how long you will wait, but don’t put unrealistic expectations on yourself. Instead start to build daily habits and choices into your life that will helpgive you the courage to do it. Whether it’s focusing on self-love, or having a financial back up plan so you aren’t stranded. Good preparation will make the whole process a lot easier and take some of the stress away.
Hold yourself accountable
Lastly, it’s important to surround yourself with good people who inspire, encourage and support you. If you know you need to end your relationship because it is unhealthy or unfulfilling then make sure you tell the right people so they can keep you on track. With fear also comes excuses, so connect with people in your world you will keep you accountable to your happiness.
You have to get over it and make sure that you are going to be happy when it’s done and over