As another year comes to an end, it’s a good time to reflect on the last 12 months and set some committed goals for the future! Your dating life may have taken a back seat in 2018, but you’d like to drastically change that come the new year. I’m not telling you to attempt all 15 goals I’ve listed below, but hopefully it gives you some inspiration for setting your own and finding success in your love life!
1) Know What You’re Looking For In A Partner
Don’t just date for the sake of dating because you’re friends are telling you to put yourself out there. If you’re going on dates seven days a week because you feel pressure to do so, you’ll most likely just exhaust yourself, shifting your once positive mindset into believing there isn’t a single person in the world out there for you. Instead, think about what qualities you’d love to have in a partner that would best compliment you and go on a few dates a month.
2) Decide What Kind of Relationship You Want
Are you looking for something long term or short term? If you don’t know, you should probably figure that out to avoid stringing someone along. Perhaps you’re hoping to start your new year off with a little bit of fun with a non-committed relationship, but this means you have to find someone who also shares the same intention as you.
3) Throw Away Your Timeline
You want to be married by 30? I’m all about goal setting but putting a timeline on yourself to achieve these types of life’s milestones is only going to put an insurmountable amount of pressure on you, making you feel worse if you don’t achieve it. Sticking to a strict timeline may also result in settling on someone who straight up isn’t right for you in the long run.
4) Self Reflection
Are you happy with the person you are? Everyone has cringe-worthy moments in life, but did you do or say anything in particular in the past year that you still think about to this day? It’s important to understand the impact of your actions and focus on self-improvement.
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5) Selective Swiping with Intention
I think everyone’s guilty of going through dating profiles without taking a look at what the person actually wrote about themselves. Instead of just saying ‘Yes’ to everyone, try being a little more selective and read their full profile.
6) Find Meatier Subject Matter to Discuss
“Hey, so what do you do for work?” – How many times have you asked and answered the same question on a dating app or date? Probably so much so, that you’ve fallen into routine questioning. Try to dive deeper into a topic or interest that someone has mentioned and ask them questions about it – “Does your family have any traditions around the holidays, and what are they?” Or “How long have you been skiing competitively and what age did you start?”
7) Put Effort into How You Present Yourself
Jeans looking a little frayed and worn out? The holidays are a perfect time of year to pamper yourself. Shopping may not be your thing, but you can get almost anything online these day and you won’t be able to beat the boxing day sale prices.
8) Achieve a Work Life Balance
Stop saying “I don’t have time to date!” and find ways to work at least two dates a month into your routine. You can miss one workout or Netflix binge to meet someone for a quick coffee or cocktail. No more excuses.
9) Attend More Networking Events
Networking events and social gatherings are a great way to practice your communication skills. One of the hardest things to do in a social setting is approach a group of people, but the more practice you have in doing this, the more natural it will become. You never know who you may run into at one of these events.
10) Make Time for Friends
A solid lengthy chat with a friend is sometimes all you need to change a negative attitude. Also, ask your friends if they know anyone who you think would make a great match for you. Sometimes all it takes is that question for a great person to pop into their mind.
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11) Focus on Good Conversation
I’ve heard from quite of few of my single friends that it’s common to meet someone who is a great texter, but once you get them on a date, the conversation skills go downhill. Engage and ask questions! If you walk away from a date not knowing a single thing about them, you probably gave them an hour monologue.
12) Follow Through After a Good Date
You just got home from one of the best dates you’ve ever had, but you don’t want to text them yet for fear of looking too eager. I highly recommend you follow up! Your date might be meeting up with another potential interest the following night, and it’s important to let them know you had a good time and would love to see them again. Don’t sit and let something great pass you by.
13) Be Kind and Respectful
Rejection seriously sucks, but don’t be a sore loser and throw insults at someone simply because they don’t see the chemistry between you two. It’s not you, it’s you two together that does not work. Always be a respectful communicator!
14) Throw Away Your Checklist of The Perfect Partner
The perfect person does not exist. I’m not saying lower your expectations, but be open to someone you may not typically date.
15) Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously
Laugh a lot this year and look at every dating blunder as a funny story vs. a waste of your time and never wanting to date again. There are so many interesting people in this world to learn from. Even if after the first date you aren’t interested, you most likely gained information about something you never knew before.