You’ve been stuck in your apartment alone for nearly a year.
You’ve streamed every series on Netflix. You downloaded TikTok. You’ve even won Fortnite Battle Royale a few times. But you’re bored.
It’s not that you were intentionally without a quarantine girlfriend. You were single when this started, and since we’re still mired in the Coronavirus pandemic nearly a year later, it’s fair to conclude you’re destined to be single. Right?
A silver lining of the pandemic is that it’s actually easier than ever to meet a special someone because women are just as lonely & bored as you are. The action’s just moved online, to dating apps.
Remember that cutie you’d see in line at the coffee shop on your walk to work before your office closed? She’s on dating apps, trying to meet someone.
Remember the other cutie you’d lock eyes with at the gym between sets before that closed too? She’s also on dating apps, trying to meet someone.
No matter your preconceptions or past experiences, dating apps are nothing to be afraid of. They’re easier to master than you think! You just need to do 2 things:
- Make a great profile
- Start the conversation
I’ll teach you how below!
How To Make A Great Profile
Virtually all dating app profiles have 2 core components:
- Photos (many apps require 3+ photos)
- Written Bio (many apps provide specific prompts to respond to)
Let’s Talk Photos
Your photos are one of the most important parts of your profile. They’re the first thing she’ll see, and often the only factor she’ll consider when deciding whether to engage with you.
So don’t just upload the first few pics you can find on your phone’s camera roll. You want to share photos that showcase:
- What you look like (think portraits: your face & body should be clear, and she shouldn’t have to guess if you’re the guy on the left or the right)
- What you are like (good photos illuminate your hobbies or personality)
Also, photo quality matters. Avoid:
- Low-effort selfies
- Poor lighting or graininess
- Photos taken in your apartment (you sitting on your couch seldom adds much to your profile)
Need better photos fast? Here are a couple ideas you can execute on quickly:
- Leverage lost inventories. Text whoever had the camera out at your buddy’s birthday party, or email the bride from that wedding you attended recently, and ask them to share any photos of you.
- Create new content. Ring a friend you haven’t seen in a while, and go on a socially distanced hike or explore that new art installation downtown. Ask them to snap a portrait mode shot of you when you’re there. Easy!
Let’s Talk Bio
Your written bio comes next. Your bio exists to:
- Communicate who you are (so she can gauge whether you’re compatible)
- Stir conversation (so she knows what to chat with you about)
To help you accomplish these goals, Plenty of Fish gives you specific prompts to respond to. Before you dive into completing them, be aware of the 3 biggest mistakes I see guys make with their written bios:
- Treating it like a “help wanted” ad. Your potential matches already know you’re looking for someone beautiful, caring, fun, etc…
- Mailing it in. The quality of your bio (and the matches & dates it produces) are directly proportional to the effort you put into it.
- Failing to stand out. If what you write is true of every other guy on the app (e.g. “I’m a nice guy”) it gives her no reason to read further.
Here are 3 tips to avoid these pitfalls:
- Show, don’t tell. For example, it’s 100x more effective to share a story about an adventure you went on than it is to write “I’m adventurous.”
- Narrow your audience. You don’t need to appeal to every woman on the internet. You need to appeal to the handful of women you’re most compatible with. Share details that will help these women recognize you.
- Make her smile. Dating can be stressful, so it’s easy to forget that more than anything else, she’s looking for someone she can enjoy herself with. If your bio makes her smile, she’ll feel a lot more comfortable reaching out.
How To Start The Conversation
You’ve found great photos and have written the perfect bio, and now the matches are flowing in. Props! Now it’s time to get the banter flowing.
Just remember “3S” if you ever need help starting the conversation.
What does “3S” stand for?
- Specific. Your opening line should specifically apply to her. If your message could apply just as well to any other woman on the app (e.g. “What’s up?” or “How was your weekend?”), it’s not enough. Scope her photos and written bio for specific prompts to chat with her about!
- Segway. You want your opening line to seamlessly segway into an engaging conversation. Ask a question or share an opinion that will make it easy for her to respond. Again, leverage her photos and written bio for potential prompts.
- Smile. The same principle from your written bio applies here. If your message makes her smile, she’s infinitely more likely to engage with it.
Once you’ve crafted a “3S” message, fire it off, and have fun!