For the hopeless romantic, being in a relationship and finding your perfect fit is a big life goal. Who doesn’t want to have someone to share their thoughts and ideas with, have fun experiences with, and everything else that comes with being in love?
Love is one of the most basic human needs. Sometimes, we rush into relationships with the hope of filling that empty void within ourselves. The truth is, another person can’t do that for you. As cliche as it sounds, only you can fill that emptiness with self-care and self-love.
In this article, I will discuss why being happy with yourself before entering a relationship is important.
1. You Figure Out What You Want
Being on your own for periods of time allows you to focus solely on your own routine. No one is there to tell you what is right or wrong. You get to figure out what makes you tick and build upon that.
Some of the best parts of being single is you can set your own schedule and not have to worry about another person’s time. You can own as many pets as you can realistically manage, try a new hobby, or have total control over the tv remote. This is a great opportunity to figure out what kind of lifestyle you want to have and eventually find a partner that compliments it!
Sometimes, this can be a time for self-discovery from taking yourself on dates, to treating yourself, or even making your apartment look the way you want it. A lot of people tend to follow the same cycle after a break up: purge, rediscover, and create. Whether you’re getting a new haircut, investing in your bed to make it more comfortable, or working out more, this is the perfect time to take care of your needs.
2. Insecurity Breeds Toxicity
All of us have insecurities, whether it’s with our looks, our personality, our job, our social circle, our hometown. The deeper the insecurities, the more likely they will affect your relationship with another person and perhaps result in feeling more desperate for your partner’s affection.
When you’re needing to be continually reassured by someone else, you become oblivious to the toxicity and codependency that may occur in your relationship. For example, your partner may become too controlling of your actions. And because you have doubts about yourself, you may allow this toxic behavior to continue, even though it may not be good for your mental health.
By being happy with yourself and knowing your boundaries, you can stay away from these dangerous dynamics and save yourself the heartbreak and damage. You won’t necessarily be free from insecurity but you can acknowledge that they exist and tackle them in a healthy way.
3. Being Positive will Attract Positivity
As mentioned above, holding onto your insecurities rather than addressing them, may attract the wrong type of person who may try to take advantage of your unhappiness as a way to meet their own selfish needs. But when you approach life with a more positive mindset, you discourage these people from even approaching you.
Something that makes people happier in life, especially before they decide to settle down with someone, is to create space for yourself. It’s important to identify your needs and wants before jumping headfirst into a relationship. Once you’re in a relationship, remember to carry through that space for yourself so you don’t miss sight of who you are.
Little Steps to Finding Your Happiness as an Individual
- Pursue your interests
- Maintain strong and deep connections with friends and family
- Avoid people who make you unhappy
- Exercise regularly whether it’s walking, hiking, gym etc
- Practice meditation
- Develop your spirituality
- Spend time outdoors
- Do nice things for other people
- Create instead of always consuming
- Be present and notice the little pleasures around you
- Accept your flaws
- Try something new every day
- Have a gratitude journal
- Create your own space
- Believe in your own worthiness to be happy and be loved
What do you do to make yourself happy?! Share below!