Is a slice of pizza washed down with cold beer at a monster truck rally your idea of a cultural experience? Most importantly, there is nothing wrong with that. Secondly, you’re not alone. If most museums secretly bore you, and the ballet fails to distract you from checking Facebook on your phone every five minutes, don’t worry, you can still have your culture and eat it too – or at least fake it!
Here are the top dates in any city that will allow you to fake some culture:
Poetry reading: Many universities and coffee houses organize free poetry readings throughout the year that cover a wide range of topics, so don’t turn up your nose at this idea just yet! Think about it, who is going to challenge your interpretation of poetry when there’s really no wrong answer? Even if you don’t understand the meaning behind the poetry, or if it seems pretty abstract, you can still feel free to pipe up and share how you’ve received it! And if you really want to take everything a step further with a touch of comedy, feel free to drop in sentences like, “It reminds me of Alfred de Musset.” Just don’t confuse Musset for Monet.
Wine tasting: It’s just fine that you don’t know the difference between a Merlot and a Cabernet, as long as your date isn’t a sommelier…in which case, abort this mission immediately. If you’re in the clear, consider repeating the phrases, “it’s so full bodied,” or “it tastes a bit too oakey for me,” or “I can really pick up the fruity notes,” or “yes, this was an excellent year.” Between throwing around these gems and the flowing wine, you might start to believe it yourself, or maybe just learn a thing or two at the very least.
Off Broadway Show: Most high-end theater productions are expensive and fall short in connecting with the audience, but small theater productions, or “Off-Broadway” houses can provide a new outlet to fake culture, especially when they involve comedy. In New York, you can find “Off Broadway” shows all over the East Village, Lower East Side, and Brooklyn. In smaller cities, you can usually find these performances near the local University. Just ask the internet.
Lectures: Local bookstores host lectures from authors on almost EVERYTHING under the sun, as do public libraries/universities. Are you interested in geopolitical issues or the life of Abraham Lincoln? There’s a lecture on that! Be sure to stick to topics you and/or your date will have some real interest in though. To spice things up, you can always consider incorporating your new knowledge of wine by bringing a bottle or two along for the ride.
DISCLAIMER: Please be mindful my friends, that faking culture is not recommended for the long-term. You do want to let the person you are dating get to know the real you, so these tips are to be taken out of the vault under select circumstances, and with a grain of kosher salt. If all of this fails to impress, your next date is to a monster truck rally.
