The Blog
  • Dating
  • Couple Goals
  • The Data
  • The Site
JOIN POF TODAY
The Blog
The Blog
  • Dating
  • Couple Goals
  • The Data
  • The Site
  • Advice

3 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Reuniting With An EX

  • July 18, 2013
  • 3 minute read
  • Shannon Smith
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

 

One of this week’s biggest stories in the celebrity world was the engagement news of Adam Levine, frontman of Maroon 5 (and serial modelizer), to Behati Prinsloo, a Namibian Vicoria’s Secret Model. After dating briefly before a split last year, the pair apparently reunited in Los Angeles last weekend – and he proposed! I know.

My first thought was also that I had yogurt in my fridge sporting an expiry date further off than this ill-fated union’s. I scrolled through the comments below the article and silently nodded in approval at the: “She MUST be pregnant’”….”He loves himself too much for this to ever work!”…”Their age difference is insane!”…etc. But then I started amusing myself with the even more ridiculous notion that maybe they really had worked out their issues and have a long and healthy partnership in their future. This would be boring and all sorts of anticlimactic for the gossipy middle school girl in all of us, but exes reunite all the time in real life and make it work – don’t they?

Below are 3 questions I can only hope Adam and Behati asked themselves before getting back together, and you probably should too before reuniting with an ex:

1)    Why are we reuniting?

Because you’re the lead singer of a famous band, and she’s a world-class model/possessor of other-worldly beauty? No. Because you are starting to feel pressure to get married sooner rather than later, are scared of ending up alone, and or want to prove to yourself that you can win the other person back? Also No. When asking yourself this question, your ego is not your amigo. If your answer is more in line with your own health and happiness, you are on the right track. If you can see a future with this person, genuinely love each other, and make each other better humans…ask yourself this next question:

2)    Why did we break up?

Maybe you stopped putting each other first, or spent too much time apart, or his little quirks that you loved at first completely lost their appeal. For the most part it doesn’t really matter why you parted ways. If you had a relatively healthy break up that you may be able to come back from, that’s one thing. But if you are dealing with trust issues, commitment phobia, any type of abuse, or something that will always live in the back of your head and possibly haunt your relationship forever, you need to be honest with yourself. You should consider a conversation with this person and decide what the issues were that drove you apart, and if you can live with them in the future. Will he change? What if he hasn’t, or won’t? How have you changed? Was the original decision to break up the right one? Real talk.

3)    Can I live with my decision?

This means despite knowing that your mother is not down with him, and dealing with inevitable eye rolls from your friends, you remain at peace with your choice to move forward together. It means that you will accept any fallout and embrace the sacrifices you will inevitably have to make because you’re confident in your decision being the right one for you at this time. It means reminding yourself that it’s not always rainbows and butterflies, its compromise that moves us along…

So good luck to those of you who are struggling with this dilemma. And good luck to me in posting this article before the couple mentioned above breaks up, deeming this whole thing irrelevant.

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Shannon Smith

Shannon has been putting the ‘elation’ in the ‘Public Relations’ team at PlentyOfFish since joining the company in early 2010. Her penchant for jokes and all things hilarious can be topped only by her fierce love of writing. She also has a weird obsession with celebrities, and this one time she rode an elevator with Sofia Vergara.

Previous Article
  • Advice

The Trouble with Empty Adjectives

  • July 17, 2013
  • Erika Ettin
View Post
Next Article
  • POF Success

How to PlentyOfFish-ify your Wedding Day

  • July 23, 2013
  • Sarah Gooding
View Post

Subscribe

Tips to Your Inbox!

You May Also Like
View Post
  • Advice
  • Dating
  • Love Stories

Here’s how you can date safely online

  • January 10, 2023
  • Plenty of Fish Team
View Post
  • Advice
  • Dating

Get peace of mind with Garbo 

  • December 6, 2022
  • Plenty of Fish Team
View Post
  • Advice
  • Dating
  • Lifestyle
  • Trends

Should you be “Quiet Quitting” your dating life?

  • August 23, 2022
  • Plenty of Fish Team
View Post
  • Advice
  • Dating
  • Lifestyle

How to shake those first date jitters

  • August 19, 2022
  • Jackie Columbus
View Post
  • Advice
  • Dating
  • Lifestyle
  • Trends

Date spots in NYC that your date (and wallet) will love!

  • August 5, 2022
  • Jackie Columbus
View Post
  • Advice
  • Dating
  • Lifestyle
  • Research
  • Trends

Profile tips to make them click!

  • July 21, 2022
  • Jackie Columbus
View Post
  • Advice
  • Dating
  • Lifestyle
  • POF Life

A day in the life of a new POF user

  • June 30, 2022
  • Jackie Columbus
Woman tossing out the trash walking across grass
View Post
  • Advice
  • Dating

Declutter Your Dating Life: What to Keep and What to Toss

  • April 24, 2022
  • Megan Clark

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Subscribe

Get Tips to Your Inbox

Privacy PolicyTerms of UseCookie Policy

Input your search keywords and press Enter.

✗

Header

pre

post

No Thanks