“If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it,” sings Beyonce. How many times have you had that same thought? Are you tired of men who won’t commit? Do you want a ring on that finger? Attention all you single ladies, if you answered yes to these questions, then you need to follow THE RULES.
The Rules have been designed by women, for women, to help increase what I like to call the ROD (Return on Dating). The ultimate goal of The Rules is marriage to a man who not only loves you but respects and adores you as well.
Let’s explore some of The Rules and how to apply them to dating in the online era:
Rule # 2: BE A CREATURE UNLIKE ANY OTHER
Rule #2 is really about declaring your uniqueness. This rule requires you to take close look at exactly what are you bringing to the relationship table? Are you a conversationalist? Do you have a great sense of humor? Perhaps you have traveled extensively or have had some really unique life experiences. Take the time to create a personal inventory of all the things that make you a rare jewel. What makes you stand apart from the other women he had coffee with this week? If you are struggling to find the things that set you apart, remember, this process does not happen overnight. Try talking to your friends and family and see what they think is different or novel about you. Evolving yourself, mind body and soul is one of the first steps to finding your prince charming. Once you have honed in on what makes you different, celebrate it! Allow yourself to radiate in the confidence of knowing there is no one else out there that is just like you.
Online Dating: When crafting your online profile be sure to talk about your hobbies, your travels, and how you like to spend your free time. Show him how well rounded you are. You are a career women and an avid hiker who loves to cook Italian food with a passion for French history.
There is no need to showcase how much you love your nephews, and how the best part of your day is walking your dog for 4 hours.
Rule # 7 ALWAYS END EVERYTHING FIRST. GET OUT OF THERE!
It’s so tempting to get wrapped up in spending every waking moment with your new crush. But, it’s really as simple as that! End every communication with him FIRST. Keep him wanting more. Whether it is online, in person, by phone, via text, or via email, by ending each communication first, you will encourage him to keep desiring you and wondering about you. You must always keep that air of mystery.
Online Dating: Ladies! When messaging each other, make sure you are the one ending each conversation first. Period. This is not a time to assert your need to always get in the last word. As far as I’m concerned, your communication via phone, Skype, iChat etc. should not go on and on ad nauseum no matter how cute you might think it is that you both fell asleep together while chatting. Save the details for when he takes you out on a date. Do not mistake this rule for appearing secretive, abrupt or rude. It’s important to show your interest but there is no need to show it through endless chatter. The bottom line is… if he wants to chat with you, he needs to make a date with you.
Rule # 9 RARELY USE SOCIAL MEDIA TO COMMUNICATE AND NEVER TO STALK YOUR MAN!
Once you both have made contact online and he has messaged you, that does not give you carte blanche to now become active or even friends with him via Facebook (FB), Twitter, Linkedin or any other social media outlet. Relax, play it cool and let him chase you. If he “friends” you, great! But you do NOT make the first move. He is probably used to girls “friending” him, writing on his wall, texting him endlessly, etc. Don’t be one of those girls. Remember, YOU ARE DIFFERENT! You want to stand out and capture his attention so do so by doing the opposite of every other female.
Online Dating: Because you are connected online does not give you the O.K to stalk his FB profile and see which friends you have in common. Do not say things like, “Oh, I saw on your FB you were in Mexico last month, nice!” This not only looks psycho, it is also not attractive to men in the slightest.
Rule # 25 DO NOT SEXT
Big mistake ladies… It’s really quite easy, DON’T DO IT! If you think the way to a man’s heart is to send nude photos of you, then bend over and say cheese. But that’s a big mistake if you want this guy to turn into your future husband. I guarantee that a relationship that uses sexting to keep things hot will fizzle out in 3-6 months when he bores of you and you end up with a lot of awkward, nude photos and questions as to where things went wrong.
Online Dating: Things can start to spice up and then men want to see a little more. The risks of sending boudoir photos go far beyond simply being disappointed when you eventually get dumped. Unfortunately, you most likely won’t have access to the “Clear History” button on your beau’s mobile or email account. It doesn’t matter how crazy you are about each other at the time, pick a different memento to keep. You DON’T want the online world flooded with pics of your genitals for all eternity. This is NOT wifey material.
For more on the Rules, one on one coaching, and workshops visit Samia Massoud-Vancouver’s Urban Date Doctor at Urbandating101.com