So, you’ve been online dating for a while now. At first, it was super exciting. But then, online dating burnout happened. Now, you’re not so sure it’s worth the effort. And it IS an effort. It takes a lot of your energy to find someone you’re interested in, arrange a meeting, make yourself look presentable, show up, go through the time of getting to know someone, and sometimes (read: most of the time), it doesn’t turn out to be the be-all end-all relationship you were looking for.
So, how do you keep your energy up, make sure that you’re putting your best self out there, and avoid the Burn Out?
Keep your profile fresh and up to date.
Swapping out your profile pic gives you an instant lift in attention and messages. Someone who has glanced at your profile before might be attracted by that new photo showing a different side of you, (literally). It changes the first impression you make on the site. We recommend testing out a few different main images over time and seeing which gets you the best results. Also, updating your profile information like your description and interests could be the difference between someone deciding to send you that first message or passing you by. Keep them current and engaging. Oh, you both have chicken wings or craft beer listed as an interest? Icebreaker + first date idea in one!
Have a sense of humor about it.
Now that you’ve boosted the attention you’re getting online, how do you avoid mediocre dates that leave you feeling discouraged? Well, bottom line, you can’t. You’re probably going to have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the right frog for you, so it’s best if you can accept it and try and laugh about it. You’re meeting strangers from the internet for crying out loud – it’s bound to be hilarious! That guy with the horrible breath, or the one who couldn’t stop talking about his Etsy store where he sells sweaters for guinea pigs? Sounds like great fodder for girls night! You’re not going to jive with everyone. There’s probably someone you went out with that thought you were nuts for spending so much time restoring classic VW vans or for hating Seinfeld, so, it’s mutual. There’s someone out there for everyone, (yes, everyone), and if that wasn’t the right date for you, laugh about it, forget about it, and move on.
Do the things you want to do anyway.
Want to check out a new coffee shop that opened up in your neighborhood, or take a walking tour of your historic downtown? Do them with a date! Even if it doesn’t end up working out, at least you’re getting to do things that you wanted to do, regardless. It’s easy to get burned out if you feel like you’re going on a million of the same date over and over again. Be a little selfish; do something that you’re excited about. Life’s too short to waste your time!
Take everything with a grain of salt, manage your expectations, play it cool.
We’ve all felt it, where it seems like this person is perfect and exceptional and might be The One, only to have them drop off the face of the earth for whatever reason. It’s easy to get really excited about a new conversation or someone you had a great date with, but proceed with caution. It sounds cynical to say, but don’t get too attached too early. You’re still just getting to know them in the beginning; they might be on a completely different page. Don’t take it personally. Keep it cool and take it easy at first. Don’t play games, but don’t throw your whole heart into the ring until you’re sure things are on solid footing.
And of course, remember that he or she IS out there.
This is the hardest part, but you have to keep your eye on the prize. Lots of people I know who have burned out from online dating did so because they lost their focus. “Why am I spending so much time and energy on getting dressed up, going out, and making conversation with a stranger? Again?” Well, frankly, because that’s how you’re going to meet the one person that finally makes it all worthwhile; because you decided that you were over being alone; because what you were doing before wasn’t working; because you’re ready for something different. While it can definitely be challenging, remember what you want to get out of this process, and use that to motivate yourself. It’s the promise of that happily ever after that keeps us going; the “what if?” that keeps us all logging back in. Because who knows, your perfect match just may join tomorrow, better be ready 😉