Shortly after a breakup, you may feel the urge to jump right back into the dating scene to find Mr. Right, seek comfort, or simply dabble in casual hookups for instant gratification. I challenge you to try something a little different this time.
It is important after any split to take a step back and legitimately be “single” for a period of time before putting yourself out there again. The word “singular” better describes what I am getting at. Singular meaning individual, a separate person or thing. Abstain from casual flattery and properly take the time to reflect on who you are without your partner, now ex or anyone else on the side.
Without this time to clear your head and shift your mindset, you may end up getting right back into something for all the wrong reasons. Emotions are at an all time high and your mind is in a vulnerable state, which may lead to a regrettable act of false contentment. This new and exciting attention may be flattering but don’t get sucked in too deep.
Striking the right balance in your life can be tricky to master, but I urge you to take this new found freedom as a moment for yourself, however long that may be. The last thing you want is to settle on someone who isn’t right for you or worse, drag along an unsuspecting hopeful on your self reflecting journey. Don’t panic, take one day at a time, and find what truly makes you happy as an individual.
Follow my tips below on how to enjoy this time of singularity!
- Instead of texting your hookup buddy, foster other relationships and call over a friend for a movie night. You will actually get the support you are looking for which will give you both instant and long term gratification.
- If you can’t stop thinking about your ex, take your aggression out at the gym or fitness class. This workout will probably be one of the best you’ve ever had. Your endorphins will be turned on and you will feel emotionally and physically better about yourself. Try to make this more of a routine than a one time pump.
- This sounds cliché, but it works for me every time. Write down your emotional thoughts in a journal to rationalize exactly how you are feeling and why. Get to the root of the problem, instead of leaving your ex a horrendous voicemail or novel text. Keep a notebook next to your bed or on hand for when you just need a good rant. This also makes for a great advice book of your own for future reference.
- Meet new people without the intention of finding a potential partner. Expand your social network. Friendships are a huge support system when going through a breakup. Step out of your bubble of sorrow and get out there without carrying the pressure of pleasing someone.
- Rediscover who you are with things you truly want to do. This can be as simple as reading a book you’ve always wanted to or joining a creative class. Now that you have the time, soak it up and make the most of it because you won’t be single for the rest of your life!