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Why He Ghosted – From The Male Perspective

  • May 29, 2016
  • 3 minute read
  • James Arnold
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The worst part about being ghosted is not knowing why he did it. The aftermath of being ghosted is oftentimes worse than a real haunting; it’s a painful process. You start to dismantle yourself piece by piece with hopes to identify what prompted him to disappear like a low budget movie. You play the reel over and over in your head. You think about the last date you were on or your last conversation. Anything, which could provide a touch of closure for your shattered heart. The majority of the time you won’t get that closure, but know, you deserve that closure.

Why do men ghost women?

Ghosting is used to abruptly and easily end contact with another person. A man chooses to ghost a woman because he is too afraid to hurt the woman’s feelings with direct confrontation. The fledgling relationship is young enough to escape without the man feeling he owes her a legitimate explanation. He wants her to “take the hint” after disappearing.

Ghosting is used because it works, although, it’s a disrespectful method. The real questions that get pondered by men are: Do you tell her you aren’t interested in seeing her again because she has bad breath? Or, do you apply the lesser of the evils and ghost her? Questions like these are the harsh reality of early dating woes.

The overture of the ghosting symphony is sometimes littered with signs which indicate you might have a ghost in your midst. Being able to identify these signs might help you avoid the ghosting from taking place.

He Is flakey

If the guy you recently started dating is changing plans around or canceling on you frequently, you aren’t at the top of his list of priorities and he’s not respecting you. On top of that, these are the classic signs of a ghost just before they disappear from your life.

His replies to your texts are taking longer and longer by the day 

It’s true we all have busy lives and can’t always be buried in our smartphones. You have to think about it logically, though. Most people do get to check their phone within 8-hour increments. But if you have a guy and his replies to your texts are taking longer and longer. It’s hard to believe he’s making an effort to maintain a connection. This could be an indicator that his next magic trick will be a disappearing act.

You came on too strong too early

You came on too strong by talking about getting tattoos together or kids after two weeks of dating. This, of course, sent him running like a scared school boy from a bully. If you are dating a guy and really want to keep him around, don’t rush into an exclusive relationship or to long- term planning as if there is a deadline to beat. There is nothing more attractive than when a woman isn’t desperately concerned with the outcomes of a new relationship. It shows she’s happy with her current situation outside of the relationship. As far as communication goes, calling and texting with each other should be in balance. Don’t send three text messages to his one.

You slept together too soon

You gave your 100% to the guy and all he had to do was express a small amount of interest. Know your worth. Most importantly, follow your heart and feelings when it comes to dating. More times than not, we can usually feel something is “off”. It is at this point, we can try to communicate with this person or cut our losses.

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James Arnold

James is a freelance writer and founder of Wingman-academy.com. He is passionate about helping others succeed with dating and relationships. In his free time, you will find him running with his Greyhound, traveling, or spending time with loved ones.

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