Post Date Etiquette: The Follow Up, The Next Date, and The Debrief

We’re all familiar with those awful, ancient dating “rules”. The same ones we’ve been conditioned into thinking are the norm; “Always play hard to get!”, “If he doesn’t call in 3 days, it’s over, he’s not interested!”. When you’re knee deep in swoon-city you shouldn’t have to stress about those trivial mandates.

Let’s assume you’ve met someone great – on Plenty of Fish, for instance. You’ve made it to the first date and from where you’re sitting, it went extremely well. You’re feeling good about this person and you definitely want to see them again. You know that what happens following a first date is sometimes just as important as what goes down during the first date. But how do you navigate the follow-up? Do you text? Do you call? Are they even interested in a second date? Here are some pointers to helm post-date etiquette.  

The Follow Up 

Do: Use the form of communication initiated by your date. If s/he has predominantly been chatting with you via text and has never actually called you, continue texting.

Do: Let your date know that you had a good time. Sometimes the end of an amazing first date is the hardest part. Sending your date a text to say that you had a great time and would like to do it again is a fine way to let them know that you’re interested.

Do: Send the first message. Don’t be so timid that you wait for the other person to reach out to you post date – who knows, maybe they’re waiting for you to reach out to them.

Don’t: Bombard them with messages. I know it’s tough, but have some chill.

Making a Move

Do: Be the first one to ask about a second date. It’s 2018, men and women equally hold the power. If it’s clear that you both want to see each other again, initiate a plan!

Do: Show that you’re excited. I mean, maybe avoid telling them that you’ve already texted your entire family and friend group and have planned your outfit for the next date, but there is nothing wrong with a cool “I’m really looking forward to our date on Saturday! :)”

Don’t: Rush things along, but also don’t wait too long. Basically, the second the cab door closes and your date fades into the distance, don’t text them asking about a second date quite yet. Let it be known that you’re interested without pushing the relationship into hyperspeed.

The Debrief

Do: Chat with a friend. Obsess about your date to a pal to avoid over analyzing alone or sending them too many messages.

Do: Keep your options open. As great as that first date was, it is still within your realm to explore other dating options. Be respectful to the people you are seeing, but open to any possibility.

Don’t: Stalk them on social media. Micro analyzing your dates every move after the date will only make you crazy. Give them a chance to live in peace, and you a chance to focus on what you’re going to plan for the next date!

Danica Bansie

Posted by Danica Bansie

Danica is the Receptionist at PlentyOfFish. She is a passionate music lover, crazy about photography, and always itching to travel. She also overuses superlatives. Danica can often be found dancing around her apartment to records or hunting for the best pizza.

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