5 Messages That May Lead to Being Ghosted

Just in case you are unfamiliar with the dating trend Ghosting, that first made its mainstream debut in 2015:


GHOSTING (GOH-STING) is when someone you’ve been seeing or dating all of a sudden completely ceases all contact with you – they essentially vanish like a ghost! OR perhaps you’re the Ghoster, and you cease all communication with someone who can’t quite get the hint you’re no longer interested.

Usually there’s reason behind this modern day phenomenon and I’ve got a few theories:

  1. Now that you have gotten to know each other a bit more, you’re just not feeling it. Perhaps you realized your personalities were no match or they couldn’t look passed an innocent quirk, like a funky laugh (this has actually happened to me – true story).  
  2. You’re legitimately still hurting from your previous relationship and realized you may have rushed into something too soon.
  3. You have so many dates lined up on your plate because you need to figure out what you actually are looking for before finding the right one.
  4. You’re wanting to focus exclusively on your career at this time of your life – no interest for romantic relationships at the present moment.

Nevertheless, it’s always a nice gesture after dating someone for a couples weeks or more to let them know what you have going on as opposed to ghosting them. Just keep it real and simple – we’re all grown ups here. The less drama the better.

Photo by Tom Holmes on Unsplash

If you’ve noticed the person you’re currently dating appears to be cooling off a bit, here are just a few examples of messages you probably don’t want to send them as they may just lead to being ghosted. 

  1. “Hi I haven’t heard from you. Where r u now?”
  2. “Let’s update our Facebook status to dating” (After a week of dating)
  3. “Why aren’t you answering your phone, I can see you’re online?”
  4. “Can you pick up your phone?”
  5. “I’ve sent you a text, and left a voicemail to say ‘hi’”

Instead of continually sending curious texts, perhaps just try one real simple message that will hopefully get you the answers you’re looking for and catch the Ghoster in their tracks. 

“Hey, I’ve noticed you’ve been distant/busy lately. I hope you’re okay. Are you free for a quick chat?”

With this message, you’re being honest and direct, but also showing concern for what could also be going on in their personal life. If the person you’re dating doesn’t respond to this message, I think its’s safe to move onward and upward!

Paula Rosenthal

Posted by Paula Rosenthal

Paula is a translator for books, apps, websites & novels. She has a plethora of passions, curiosities, and interests from riding horses and milking cows at her farm in south Brazil, to cooking for friends and potentially jumping out of a plane or boat just for thrills. Her free spirit is running wild in search of the endless possibilities life has to offer.

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