Need Help Finding “The One”? Tips To Maximize Your Dating App Experience

When online dating first started, it was considered taboo among the general public. However the times have drastically changed – in 2019, online dating is not only socially acceptable, but for many people it’s the preferred way of meeting a potential partner.

Here are my best dating expert tips to finding romance quickly and to make your online dating experience more efficient.

LET THE REAL YOU SHINE

Let’s start with the basics. Your profile is the most important thing to consider when you sign up to a dating app. Yet, I still see profiles with dark, low quality and poorly cropped photos. If you have ever tried online dating and didn’t have much to show for it, it may be time to reconsider what photos to put in your profile and to zero in on what you want to highlight about yourself.

Pictures on your profile should be bright, with a lot of natural light. Show people your great smile and showcase the quality parts of your lifestyle. For more tips on how to make your pictures stand out, click here.

Moreover, don’t forget about the description which is equally as important as your photos. If you are trying to find romance, don’t leave the description blank or state “I’ll fill this out later. ” Your description is a glimpse into your life. It should be a mix of general info about yourself, what you like to do for fun and perhaps a funny line or two that your matches can comment on, and make the start of the conversation easier. 

Think about what you want in your ideal partner and tailor your description towards that.

SEND MESSAGES BUT DON’T POWER TEXT

After you have made your profile look and sound great, here comes the next phase – matching and interacting with people.

Talking to people online can come with a mixed bag of feelings. There will be disappointment if you initially find someone attractive, but the conversation falls flat, or if someone that sounds really awesome ghosts you mid conversation (it happens to the best of us). There will be some people with whom you just don’t click with. 

However, there will be some really cool people along the way. People with whom you can have long conversations, who totally get you, who are interesting, and charming. People whose messages you’ll be looking forward to, the way Meg Ryan looked forward to hearing from Tom Hanks in You’ve Got Mail.

When you stumble upon people who you like to talk to, great. You have done the first hard part, now, if you want to find romance relatively quickly – don’t drag things out.

If you have hit it off with someone online, don’t keep it online for months like a pen pal. Try to set up a date, because that’s the point of online dating anyway – to meet people eventually!

After an initial conversation or a couple conversations, if you feel the person on the other side of the smartphone seems like a good fit – schedule a date. If you keep the conversation online too long, the fun of it all can fizzle out or they can meet someone else, and a thousand different things can happen. 

Also, if you meet up with them in person and they aren’t the person you thought they’d be, you may have wasted too much time talking to them online. So, try to move things towards the date sooner rather than later. What do you have to lose anyway? And that brings us directly to our next point.

DON’T LET BAD DATES GET YOU DOWN

Dating is a marathon, not a sprint. You have to be prepared to meet some frogs before you meet your prince/princess.

So, you are likely going to meet someone charming online, and you seem to hit it off, but when you go on a date, all that charm is gone. Don’t let these flat dates discourage you.

If you are proactive about dating, you increase your chances of meeting someone who is going to make you forget about all the bad experiences. 

Don’t get too invested with someone before you have met them and before you have established a real-life connection, that way you’ll avoid disappointment if things don’t work out. From a time standpoint, even if you go to a couple of dates per week, that’s only a 2-3 hour commitment. Remember, you have the power to make the date as quick or as long as you’d like. 

And if you approach things with no expectations and don’t dwell on the fact that your date wasn’t up to par – you will bob and weave through some bad dates with no big fuss. And then sooner or later, someone great will come along, and you’ll appreciate them even more because of the previous dates you went through.

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT, AND DON’T PLAY GAMES

This is a big one. If you genuinely want to find romance, and not just a quick hookup, you’ll have to express your intent.

Be honest and upfront about what you want, and what you’re hoping to find in a relationship. With yourself first, and then the person you’ll meet. Because if you do not know what you want, you are more likely to have unrealistic expectations, send the wrong message, and jeopardize the chances of a lasting romance. 

You’ll also have to know who you are, and where you want to be – to be able to present yourself genuinely and have a ‘’take it or leave it’’ mentality. We all have our flaws, and while you don’t want to dish out the dirty laundry immediately, you also shouldn’t keep anything significant hidden.

So, you’ll have to put yourself out there. It may sound scary, but if you are swinging for the fences and trying to find a quality relationship through online dating come with a positive attitude.

Also, you should avoid mind games and playing too hard to get. If you’re interested, show it. Drop the three day rule and follow up after the first date to say you’d love to see them again.

HAVE FUN

Don’t treat the date like a job interview. Have fun with dating, embrace the unknown, and laugh at the failures. That’s the best way to approach online dating, and it will enable you to be spontaneous and enjoy the whole experience.

Michael Valmont

Posted by Michael Valmont

Michael Valmont is a leading dating coach based in London. He is regularly featured in the media including Sky News, BBC, The Telegraph, Mens Health to name a few. He has helped thousands of men and women to find love and fulfilment, build confidence and become their best selves. He also runs his successful YouTube channel and provides regular advice for those singletons looking to find romance and get more from their lives.

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