Dating these days can be tough. In the era of social media and casual flings, it can be really hard to guess someone’s intentions. It can be especially hard to figure men out because, let’s be real, they’re usually pretty hard to read.
Truly nothing is worse than investing your time and heart into a guy only to find out he’s ‘just not ready for a relationship.’ It’s happened to the best of us, but it’s definitely no fun. Over the years, I’ve kept track of some tell-tale signs that usually mean a man is interested in more than just a hookup. With the help of some of the men in my life, I’m here to bring you a list that will, hopefully, help ease your confusion the next time you find yourself in a state of limbo with a guy.
1. He Texts You Instead of Talking Via DM
Those who have had guys ‘slide into their DM’s’ know that it’s usually the easiest way to stay in contact without really ‘committing.’ If a guy gives you his actual number so he can start texting or calling you instead of only talking over social media, it’s the first step towards something more.
2. You Two Talk Throughout the Day and Not Only in the Evening
This is one of the easiest telltale signs that he’s interested in more than just a late-night booty call. Talking throughout the day suggests your conversations center around actually getting to know each other instead of waiting until midnight for the classic ‘you up?’ text. If he’s texting you good morning instead of just good night, this is good news.
3. He Asks You On Dates That Don’t Just Consist of Drinks and/or Netflix
Let’s be honest, we all know what ‘coming over to watch Netflix’ is code for. If his only date suggestions consist of ‘grabbing drinks’ or the former, chances are he’s not after anything serious. If he starts asking to hang out during the day and planning dates like going for a hike or playing mini-golf, it shows he’s actually interested in spending time with you, not only whatever happens *after drinks*
4. He Shows a Genuine Interest in Getting to Know You
If a guy is only interested in a casual hookup, he likely won’t put much effort into getting to know you on a personal level. If you notice he’s starting to show a genuine interest in your likes and dislikes, your values, and other things that are important to you, this is a pretty clear sign he’s interested in more than just a fling.
5. He Still Sticks Around Even if You Two Don’t Get Physical Right Away
This is a biggie. If a man is truly interested in a relationship with you, he won’t be too fussed if things don’t get intimate right away. If you want to take things slow, be honest about it and your guys’ reaction will speak volumes about his true intentions.
6. He Commits to Things in Advance and Actually Shows Up
If there’s anything I’ve learned over the years, it’s that men rarely make plans they don’t want to follow through with. Someone you’re seeing casually probably won’t be inviting you to a concert that’s three months away. If he’s open and eager to make plans well ahead of time, and he actually shows up – you’ve got yourself a keeper!
7. He Introduces You to His Friends or Family
If a man doesn’t see a future with you, he won’t be too concerned about what his friends and family think of you. It’s also likely he won’t jump at the chance for you to meet them. If he does introduce you or you begin spending more time with those who are close to him, it’s likely he’s evaluating how you’ll fit into his life and is interested in pursuing a relationship.
8. He Compliments More Than Just Your Physical Appearance
As cliche as it sounds, if he cares about your personality more than your appearance, he’s a keeper! Men that are only after a casual fling will often compliment your appearance but rarely compliment your heart, drive, or goofy sense of humour. If you find you’re getting the best of both worlds, it’s a good sign your future together is bright.
9. He Doesn’t Shy Away From Posting About You on His Social Media
It’s true that there are a lot of men who aren’t very active on social media. If this is the case then it’s no cause for alarm. However, if you do find that he posts often and doesn’t think twice about posting photos of you two together, you can be pretty sure he’s feeling committed. Men who want to appear single on social media will definitely do so.
10. He Doesn’t Avoid the DTR Talk Like the Plague
If you’re still on the fence about what your guys’ true intentions are, the best, and the only way to find out 100% where he stands is to ask. Men who don’t want to commit will have a million excuses as to why ‘now is just not a good time for them’ and won’t be shy about telling you. If you explain that you’re feeling like you need to define the relationship and he’s open to the conversation, it’s pretty safe to say the two of you have a future together.
At the end of the day, you deserve to have someone be as invested in you as you are in them. Hopefully, this helped you gain some clarity. Men typically go after what they want, and if he’s truly interested in you you’ll likely know it. If not, don’t be afraid to move on – there’s someone better out there for you!