There are several rules that make up the “Friendship Code.” If broken, one of the most damning is hooking up with your friend’s ex. Plenty of Fish surveyed over 2,200 users in the UK to find out their attitudes towards the rules of a breakup. Is a friend’s ex fair game once they’ve broken up? What do you think?
Surprisingly one in five (19%) British singles admitted to hooking up with a friend’s ex-partner, despite 79% believing it does go against the friendship code. Why did these singles decide to break the code and go for their mate’s ex?
According to 35%, it’s because they’ve always secretly liked their friend’s ex. A further 9% of singles said they did it to make their own ex jealous and 19% said it was merely a drunken mistake.
Before hooking up with or dating a friend’s ex, here are things you may want to consider:
- Gauge the feelings post-breakup: It’s important to find out how your friend is doing after the breakup. Are they totally over their ex? Are they seeing someone else? Or are they still madly in love and want to get back together with this person? 35% of Brits admitted to keeping in touch with their ex on social media to see what they were up to, this is despite 49% feeling it’s better to cut all ties to give yourself a clean break.
- How interested are you? If you’re interested in your friend’s ex-partner, try to identify how interested you actually are. Do you just fancy a hookup with them or have you liked them for awhile and wish to pursue a relationship? If you’re just in it for the hookup, I would suggest finding someone else. If you think there is potential for the relationship to blossom, you will want to loop in your friend and share how you feel.
- Talk to your friend: If you’re seriously interested in your friend’s ex, gauge how your friend feels about the situation. They may not care at all if the relationship was short lived, or they may be completely taken aback that you would even think about pursuing someone they once dated. Everyone reacts to breakups differently, so it’s important to check-in with your friend first.
- Will this ruin a friendship? If you and your friend’s ex-partner do decide to start a relationship together, will this ultimately end the relationship you had with your friend? Perhaps you won’t hang out or see each other as much depending on how your friend feels about it. You should ask yourself what relationship is more important to you?
- Know what you’re getting into: Were their things your friend’s ex did that turned you completely off when they were dating your friend? Who’s to say these things won’t happen to you too. If you noticed any warning signs or red flags in their relationship, you will want to consider these things before jumping into anything serious with their ex. Perhaps it’s too soon for the friend’s ex to jump right back into a relationship.
Evidently the survey revealed getting back into the dating scene too soon after a breakup might not give you the best chances of success, as 7 out of 10 of those surveyed would be reluctant to start dating someone who’d come out of a relationship less than two weeks before.