Drained. Empty. Broken.
That’s how I would feel at the end of all my past relationships. I was stuck in a cycle of bad relationships and I didn’t even see it. Instead, I would just complain about the quality of the men in the city and how there were no good guys left. I would rant about how shitty these guys were over and over again like a broken record.
Sound familiar? That’s because it is. I like to call it the “woe is me” syndrome. For some odd reason, we love to play the victim role… Well I’m here to tell you that playing the victim will get you nowhere. If anything, it will keep you stuck in your cycle of horrible relationships. What you need to focus on is the real underlying cause for your relationship troubles: Self-Love. This was the key to ending my cycle… and I know it will definitely help you end yours. Its time to switch your “woe is me” attitude to “I am love” – doesn’t that sound sexier?
How can we expect ourselves to love another person when we don’t yet love ourselves? It’s like trying to pour a glass of water with an empty pitcher – you can’t. You’ve got to get that pitcher filled first! Self-love is about loving yourself for who you are, who you were, and all that you will be. By loving yourself, you gain self-confidence and a strong sense of worth. You’ll no longer seek that love from others and you’ll no longer need validation from others. How often have you experienced moments of low self-worth in your relationships, or a lack of self-confidence? Feeling as though you aren’t attractive enough, or good enough for your partner plays a huge part in the health of your relationship. Simply put, healthy relationships start with healthy individuals.
If you want to attain a loving relationship you’ve got to start by having a loving relationship with yourself first. Be brave enough to face your faults and own them so you can begin to work on them. Put effort into becoming the best version of you possible so you can attract better quality partners. Shove aside your fears of not being good enough and replace them with a loving confidence. I’m positive we can all agree that confidence is way sexier than insecurity. You attract what you are – it’s just that simple. So if you want confidence, be confident. Find the love within you, and you’ll gain the confidence you once lacked.
The reason we feel empty inside after a breakup is because we gave that person all we had – leaving us with nothing. This is what happens when we lack self-love. Our containers are low, we’re running on empty, and yet we still try to give in our relationships. What do we end up giving? Pieces of ourselves… this is what leaves us feeling empty and drained when the relationships ends. Now imagine entering a relationship feeling whole and filled with love. What makes this so different is that we have a surplus of love to give, so we’re not giving our partners pieces of ourselves; we’re giving our partners real, authentic love.
It’s time to end your cycle of bad relationships. It’s time you stop attracting the wrong type of partners. How? By entering a relationship with yourself. Learn to love yourself first so you can gain confidence and self-worth. Trust me, the “woe is me” attitude is NOT sexy however, the “I am love” attitude is.
I have been there… after some relationships, you feel empty and broken, even the emotional trauma is not easily overcome because you gave your all and it just couldn’t work.
The advice were good but it takes a lot of work.
Spot on, Ruby! What I’ve now realized that every bad relationship was the Universe giving me another chance to “get it.” And the “getting it” was that I needed to focus on uncovering and growing the love within myself FOR myself. We are taught that happiness and love are external things, that are given and taken away from us. To Kristine’s point on that it takes a lot of work to overcome all of this…of course it does because we’re battling YEARS of conditioned misguided thinking. But once you can break through those walls and reveal the power within yourself, all that pain and work will feel like the biggest blessing!
TOTALLY AGREE! And we CAN most definitely break through those walls.
Ruby here… I agree 150%! Self-love DOES take work… a lot of it! And as long as you’re putting in the effort, I can assure you that you will get there. The emotional trauma does heal with time and with a lot of self-love. Sending you love and light! XO
Good Topic, thanks for share
So true. Been in that place. You feel completely worthless. After learning to get your own power or self love back it changes everything
Yes absolutely, good point!