But First, Let Me Take A Selfie
When it comes to online dating, the first thing people will notice is your profile picture. Once a potential suitor has seen something they like, they’re more inclined to check out the rest of the goods, so to say. This is why many of us deliberate long and hard about what we use as our profile picture. Sadly, when trying to attract a match, we often try a little too hard. By trying to show how fun and awesome our personalities are online, we opt for pictures that we think convey this. Which is why so many men are posing with tigers and girls are submitting their best, filtered selfies. The problem with all of this is, people are fickle and while one girl may enjoy your walk-on-the-wild-side, another is not giving your profile another glance. In person, it can be easier to communicate who we are without the bells and whistles. There’s also the problem of not trying enough. Bad lighting and camera angles are no one’s friend and could be a massive hindrance to your love life.
Freak Like Me
One of the many awesome things about online dating is the option to do so from the comfort of our own home. This safe zone means we’re not as intimidated or scared when chatting to prospective dates. We can flirt to our heart’s content whilst on the couch rocking a onesie and eating ice cream straight out of the tub. Sadly, this also means we may get a little too comfortable. Not to mention blindsided. The benefit of sitting opposite someone for a date is that we can read their social cues and body language. A little risque flirting may fly when out on an actual date. Online, there are not enough emojios to save you if it’s interpreted the wrong way.
I’mma Let You Finish…
The line between confidence and arrogance is a tricky one to navigate, particularly because it’s so thin. So, you’ve decided that you have amazing qualities and someone out there will find themselves very lucky to have you – good for you! Instead of making the mistake of being too humble, you go a little overboard and become Kanye West. Boasting about all the things you do and how amazeballs you are can be very offputting. Without being physically present to see the passion in your eyes as you chat about your trip to Machu Picchu or hearing the pride and determination in your voice when you tell the tale of how you started your own business, you might come across a little douchey.
The (Un)Importance of Being Idle
Even worse than overselling yourself is not selling yourself enough. When you’re up close and personal with a would-be soul mate you want to present yourself in the most flattering light. Your most attractive attributes are out front and centre, and you’re showing off exactly what makes you the perfect candidate for their heart. Online, you assume you don’t have to work as hard. You think with all these other people online looking for the same thing; the offers are bound to come in. Unfortunately a little more effort is required. You’re swarming through hundreds of other potentials and in order to stand out, you’re going to need something metaphorically shiny to make that happen. Think of your profile as your dating resume and your intended-other as your dream job. Now get to work.
There’s nothing like chemistry. That feeling of butterflies, that va-va-voom moment, that connection. It’s something you don’t create, it just happens. You feel it as soon as you meet someone. When online dating, we try and invite chemistry to the party by searching for individuals with similar interests and relationship goals. But a shared love of something doesn’t always equal matrimonial bliss. Because we’re so eager to feel that connection we exclude other prospects because they didn’t like Breaking Bad season two. By dating outside of our comfort zone we’re able to meet more people and find that happiness doesn’t work around a checklist. So although their profile may not screaming potential match, the chemistry is.