It’s time to talk about all those rules and negative stigmas attached to dating. Times have changed and thanks to education, raising standards and a whole lot of self-love, we are able to call out the following:
1: Men should make the first move
Depending on what type of personality you have and how much confidence you possess, don’t be afraid to be the one to ask first. Men love a confident woman and making the first move doesn’t signify that you are over keen or over bearing, it just shows that you can take initiative. Whilst you may be more of a traditionalist, make sure you aren’t making the man do all of the work.
2: Chemistry = compatibility
When mutual spark fly, it’s easy to think that your new-found crush is everything you have been waiting for. But don’t let all those butterflies and hormones stop you from seeing their true character and intentions. Often, we think that if there isn’t an instant connection then they mustn’t be the one for us. While this is commonly true, don’t put your suitors into a box based just off your initial emotions.
3: Calling makes you look desperate
If you call a man, it shows you have courage and good communication skills. Now there is a big difference to ringing them on occasion as opposed to bombarding their phone. But in general, let’s not stereotype ourselves and break the mold that it is completely normal to ring a guy, even if he hasn’t rung you first. Heck, take him by surprise!
4: Men should always pay
While I do think the man should pay for the first date, I think the woman should always offer. A relationship is a two-way street where both people involved should be putting in equal effort. There is nothing emasculating about paying for your man’s date, and likewise there is nothing patronizing about having the man pay for yours!
5: Playing hard to get makes them want you more
Game playing will never get you anywhere. Keep some mystery about yourself and guard your heart, but don’t start pretending to do and not do things just to keep him on your tail. In any relationship, it’s important to have a bit of chase and the best way to do this is to not live in each other’s pockets and make sure you have a life and purpose outside of each other.
6: Online dating is only for the desperate
Wrong! Online dating is a great way to create opportunities to meet people who are looking for a relationship like you. Where else can you do that except maybe dating events? Online dating is perfect for anyone who is time poor, lacks confidence or perhaps just wants to narrow down their options before choosing to go on a date. It’s also no longer taboo!
7: Dating is hard work
Relationships require hard work to keep them strong, but dating should always be fun! As soon as it becomes too much of an effort, it’s time to take a break. Sure, we would all like the love of our life to magically appear in our living room, but that’s not going to happen. You need to put in effort, but it should never be a chore.
8: If they pay, it means you owe them something
No, this is not true at all. If someone is wanting to pay for your date (whether you have offered to or not), this does not mean you are indebted to them. True courtship is about making the person you are with feeling valued, safe and special. It isn’t about self-gain or keeping tabs. Don’t be fooled into thinking you have to give or do something you don’t want to just because your date has settled the bill.